Today is the eve of our son's adoption finalization hearing so I figured I would reflect on the journey that got us here. Hopefully something from this review is useful to you.
It feels like every choice you make in the process of adopting is critical, but it could be argued that choosing the right agency, facilitator, or whatever other entity to oversee your journey is paramount.
First and foremost, educate yourself on the difference between an adoption agency vs. an adoption facilitator. At a high level, an agency manages the adoption end-to-end and is staffed with coordinators, social workers, counselors, attorneys, and other personnel equipped to help you and an expectant mother from beginning to end. An adoption facilitator is a person or organization whose role is solely to make introductions between prospective adoptive parents and expectant mothers.
LifeLong Adoptions is an adoption facilitator. They essentially pull together your information, narrative, and photographs to market you to potential birth mothers (called "expectant mothers" until the placement has happened - at which time they are then called "birth mothers"). They charge a flat fee which is substantially lower than a traditional agency. You then pay the social worker(s), attorney(s), and whoever else necessary directly. LifeLong also takes on fewer families / individuals hoping to adopt than traditional agencies which can expedite the process overall (our son was born and in our arms 9 months after our profile went live). I have to underscore that all the staff at LifeLong take their roles beyond the general facilitator definition I listed above. They have organized and compassionate coordinators who work their hardest to place you with a child. Once a connection is made with an expectant mother, they go above and beyond to keep everyone connected. They also have fostered deep relationships with adoption attorneys in all states in the US to whom they will refer you and the expectant mother once you get to that stage in the process.
For my husband and me, who are both organized and have a project-management mindset, the idea of having to find and manage relationships with attorneys, find our own social worker to do the home visit and post-placement visit, and potentially other professionals not staffed by LifeLong (although, remember they have referrals with whom they have good working relationship) was not a problem. However, if you are looking for a full service situation, an agency may be the better option.
So much about adoption - unfortunately - is up in the air until it's all finalized. Amongst the positive reviews, I've read others criticizing LifeLong when a potential adoption fell through but so often failed adoptions happen when the expectant mother changes her mind of her own volition and can't be blamed on LifeLong. Others said they felt burdened by finding their own social worker or attorney which was a clear expectation (again, they have referrals!) outlined before signing the contract so it feels unfair to place blame.
For us, the LifeLong staff was there by our side shepherding us the whole way through. They connected us with the most incredible birth mother, helped her feel comfortable, advised her of her options regarding counseling and potential financial support, and checked in regularly along the way through the birth of our son and afterwards.
We would not have changed a thing about our adoption journey and when it's time to grow our family we will absolutely return to LifeLong.
Best wishes to you in your own journey.